Ramblings and Progress Updates.

You'll be pleased to hear that i am feeling less sorry for myself today, Hoorah!!!! and i am being very pro-active!!! I have been emailing the very nice man, Mr F, at the language school in Phuket asking a whole bundle of questions, some relevant and some....not so. Why he has not told me to stop harassing him yet i do not know, I've got to admire the guys Patience understanding and general uber helpfulness.

Apparently i do not need to take any pens, note pads or any of the usual stationary shenanigans with me as the school will provide them all, which is good for keeping down the luggage weight but a bit of a shame as i always loved buying brand spanking new pens, pencils, rubbers, rulers and, of course, a swanky new pencil case to put 'em all in. I remember mum buying all that for me for secondary school and they would stay safe and shiny and new right up until the first day of term or maybe about a week in if i was lucky, then they would all just get borrowed, be trashed, or just lost... school memories...sigh. But anyhoo, i digress, i have more important and exciting things things to talk about and purchase like, Travel Insurance...Wooooooooo!! (?)

I asked Mr F if he knew yet how many people would be on the course. In the brochure it says that the average class size is between 12 and 16, but i figured what with our current economic situation and the protests that have been taking place in Thailand that the numbers maybe down a bit.......Mr F said so far, 4 people have enrolled on the course including me! Now, for a slightly socially handicapped (shy, introverted, call it what you will) person such as myself I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Less people is less daunting, but it also means that the friendship pool is on the shallow side and that means we all have to get along. There are less names to remember which is a plus, but also, the chances of me doing my normal thing of blending into the background are slim to none. I did say to Mr F that because there was so few of us, would he give my email out to the other students so we can at least introduce ourselves before we get there and know a little about each other, that way it might seem a little less scary. So far i haven't got anything back but there's still a few weeks to go, so fingers crossed.

I did get to do the exciting thing of shopping for smart clothes on Friday (whilst i was supposed to be getting my last Hep B jab...whoops! It has been rescheduled.) This may not sound terribly exciting for the rest of you, but for the past 7 years i have been in a job where it really doesn't matter what i wear, I try not to be scruffy but mostly its just jeans, t-shirt, pumps or trainers. So the chance to shop for 'smart stuff' was just fabulous, i tried on so much, most of which was totally inappropriate for the climate out there but fun to try on anyway. Ive ended up with a lovely blue shirt (an item i had to buy as all trainee teachers when on work placement have to wear this) and a pair of cute light tan girls chinos, for the record they are straight legged not tapered...no one should do tapered! I already have some smart black shoes, but might force myself to buy another pair.....just in case.

I've printed out all the info on the school plus the Phuket school licences that Mr F sent me, so now all that remains to be done is to fill in the 30 day Visa form and put all the printed out stuff with it and send it off to the Consul in hull and hope they say, 'Yes Carrie, of course you can come into our country. Welcome! Welcome!' .......Fingers crossed.

Feeling Melancholy With 10 Weeks To Go

The planning of my Thailand trip has been going on now for over a year and the wheels are very much set in motion. However, I'm starting to think that I've taken this idea of me going so far away a little too lightly.

It's all been about the preparation so far and what fun it is to be playing the part (for at the moment that is how it feels) of the daughter/sister/friend that is going away to a far flung land and how ''so excited i am'' to be going and ''wont it be great for you all to fly out to Thailand to see me'' etc, but now that the preparation time is coming to an end and the reality of the situation is becoming clearer and nearer, i find that the knots in my stomach are becoming tighter and tighter. It is a staggering 30000 miles to Thailand from London, on an 11 hour flight with tickets costing upwards of £400! It's not like my friends and family can just pop over on a long weekend!

As wonderful as the idea is of people coming out to see me and however many good intentions there are of them doing just so, i think the fact remains that life will, inevitably, get in the way and that that is all they will end up being, good intentions and I am not going to see my friends and family again for a while. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not at all bitter or angry about it, far from it in fact as they are all on their own Big Adventures, whether that be a well deserved once in a lifetime holiday, marriage, new jobs, new houses or new babies and i will happily and willingly give them all the support and love that they have shown me.....it's just that they are such a big part of my life and i am sad, because i know how much i shall miss them.